Installations

THAT'S LIFE - MY SACRED MIRROR

THE MIND IS LIKE A PARACHUTE

When first given the opportunity to paint on a parachute which was to be hung from the library ceiling at Winmalee High School, I jumped at the unique opportunity without much thought as to how I was to accomplish it.

I tried various methods of applying the paint, some results were pleasing, other times I tried to cover with another color with unpleasant results, and other methods were neutral. Wet paint from one panel stained the next one because of the way it was hung, this proved to be very depressing. I thought, WHY DID I EVER START THIS PROJECT????

I got caught up in negative thoughts, which stopped the work for about 9 months until I was able to continue. Thoughts of how the parachute would look when hung, how others would view it, or me. How the colours and patterns would have an effect on every single staff member and student, whether they realised it or not. Many thoughts about others not liking it at all etc. etc. and etc.

I changed my way of thinking about what I could learn about the whole exercise and there were many realisations. What were the physical obstacles I had to overcome? and what were the lessons? I then realised that the parachute was a mirror of my life, up until this point.

Firstly, I wasn't able to see the big picture - How others would view it? - just like in life.

How some panels flow from one to another - How one day affects another - Reflects how the past affects the now and the future - Whether I like it or not.

Experiments in learning techniques - some positive, some negative, some neutral.
Learning to cope with whatever life throws at me, whether I am ready or not.
The confidence to start - the perseverance and courage to finish.
A commitment to complete the job.

Hurrying to finish and work when the time isn't right.
Trying to learn a lesson before I am ready.

Fear to overcome - whether others will like it - or me.
Fear of success and failure.
Wanting to ruin it - so I would have an excuse not to finish.
Shame at the mess I thought I saw.
Or go on a very long holiday - so I could hide.

A feeling of nakedness if hung - after all that's me up there - for everyone to see.
Reflects also my frustrations and self-imnposed restrictions.

How to turn what I perceived as a failure into success.
My ability to learn and change and grow.

Trying to catch hold of the loose fabric - wanting to control every part of my life.

The need to be focused on one thing at a time.
The need to create for the joy of creating.
The need to what satisfies and delights.
The need to have a clear space to do all of the above.

Learning to share what I have learnt with others.

The realisations clearly showed me how much in my life has been spent in trying to please others at the expense of being untrue to me.

The project took between two and three years, with many stops and starts. Weeks and weeks of work - uncounted hours.

These have been important lessons for me to learn, even looking at myself in a mirror or in a photo has been uncomfortable. I also realise that these lessons are relevant not only to me but for everyone who wishes to learn and grow.

Another day, another challenge.

MY LIFE - MY LEGACY - MY SACRED MIRROR

- PATRICIA ANNE RALPH (Dec 2000)